Friday, September 28, 2007


It’s been a few weeks since the biopsy, and Dave and I are coming to terms with the fact that no matter what, he needs a kidney transplant. We are now going forward with two different locations; UCLA and Scripps, in San Diego. One of his nephrologists told us that you can be on more than one list, as long as you are in a different “zone”.

There are a few people who have requested to be tested to be his donor. I’m still going to go forward with my plan to donate, if everything checks out with the testing. My brother wants to be used as a last resort, and we have a couple friends who have offered to be tested, too. We are trusting God that something will work out in this area. Thinking of Dave going through dialysis for another 7 years makes my heart break! It’s so hard on him…and doing it three times a week makes him physically exhausted.

He’s been through so much! He has remained so faithful during all these months. He is my hero in so many ways!

My new endeavor is to get word out to everyone we know about becoming an organ donor. It’s so easy, and all it takes (in CA, anyway) is a signature on record with the Dept of Motor Vehicles. There are so many lives that can be saved by just one person!

Also, I have purchased some awareness bracelets that I will be handing out or sending out to all our friends. This is just another way you can outwardly stand with us on this journey of getting through kidney failure and finally finding a matching kidney donor for transplant.

Be looking for those bracelets. :)

Thursday, September 13, 2007


I think most people who actively read this blog have been sent an email, but in case you didn't receive something from me tonight; we did get the biopsy results late this evening. It looks like there is complete loss of the kidneys. No hope in them returning to function on their own. We are very sad, and sort of shocked, to be honest. It's hard to think that Dave will have to go through this awful dialysis until a perfect match is found. We are also praying that the Wegener's doesn't flare while we are waiting.

It's a hard night, and one which we will have to pray our way through. We are extremely thankful for all of our friends and family, and all you prayers.

God will get him and all of us through this.

Had a bad day....

No word yet as to the biopsy results. We knew that it would most likely be late in the week before we heard anything, but we are both a little anxious.

Maybe it’s my Catholic schooling and I still have the embedded need to confess. Maybe I’m just someone who needs to be heard. Either way I wanted to share something that I hope might help others going through difficult times

I have been going through a really confusing time, lately, thinking about the unfairness of Dave having to go through all of this. Ok, the unfairness of me having to go through all of this, too. If you have known me a while, you know that I am essentially a good person. Not without many, many character flaws...but a pretty good person. Sometimes, boringly so.

Well, I sat here the other day and just got really mad at God. Like, “Hey God…I’ve been faithful and righteous and all that stuff. I’ve helped the poor, and I’ve told people about you, and I go to church and I read the Bible, and I try to live my life as an example of Christ’s love. So…why? Why have you turned your back on Dave, and in turn made my life so hard?....” It went on, but just know it never got any deeper than “woe is me.”

What a whiney brat, huh? Well, I was. I was acting the exact way a teenager acts when they get mad at their mom or dad. I was acting like a little, spoiled brat, and what’s worse is I knew it! But I kept going, anyway.

The thoughts ran wild. Like, I never did drugs or fooled around or stole anything. Now, admittedly, I labeled these things, in my mind, as “fun stuff”. Poor Lisa never had an ounce of “fun”. God is punishing ME and Dave…and yet I (“we” but mostly “I”) don’t deserve it. (Appalling behavior, isn’t it?)

The rest of the day pretty much sucked. Then I had lunch with my mom. She listened to my rants, and held my hand, and didn’t judge me. Thank God for our moms! She also said something that I remember her saying when I was little. She said, “No matter how hard things are in our life, there is always someone, somewhere going through even harder times.” Then it hit me. She was right. I have a friend who is a caretaker to her mom, as she goes through breast cancer treatments. Going through the chemo and losing her long, beautiful hair. Not even knowing IF at the end of all the treatments her mom will pull through. We have a friend who just lost a loved one through suicide. The utter despair that he must be going through. It makes our little problems pale in comparison.

After I sincerely asked for forgiveness, I emphatically thanked God for all His blessings. That through this entire ordeal, Dave is improving. He has the real opportunity to remedy his health problems through a kidney transplant. He CAN go to dialysis, and then live a mostly normal life until the transplant. He isn’t dying! We are praying that the biopsy confirms his remission. But all the doctors seem sure of that. He has no lung or heart involvement…that’s such a blessing. As for me…I have my health. I have the love of a wonderful husband and two beautiful kids. I am truly blessed. I’m tired….no doubt, but I am blessed!

The very next day I received a beautiful card from a friend of a friend of a friend. Someone, from across the country, who has been praying for Dave and our entire family. Her words were so thoughtful and encouraging. She said that God has NOT left our side. He is here with us. She said that our emails have encouraged her and strengthened her faith. She said that our testimony, when all of this is over, will be what God uses to bring others closer to Him.

What amazes me is that God knew that I was going to have this meltdown, and then knew the timing of her letter would be perfect! How awesome is that? That letter was like a “burning bush”….a validation that God is God…He loves me inspite of myself, and knows that I needed encouragement at that very moment in time.

I guess part of that testimony my new friend wrote about has to include the hard days; when we are angry with God, and then are allowed to see with new eyes, how very much He has blessed us. I guess that’s why God doesn’t just smack me down (which I totally deserved) when I start acting like a spoiled brat. It’s all part of growing in Christ. And growing is painful sometimes.

Thank you, my friends, for letting me share a very bad day with you. It turned out Ok. I grew in the knowledge, once again, that God IS here. He DOES listen. That He loves me inspite of my foolish behavior, and is here to comfort me when I come back to my senses!

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Toxic Toys???

Those words should never be uttered together…ever! As a parent I am angry that the toy industry allowed this to happen. As a consumer I am angry that a few cents appear to be more valuable than a child’s health and wellness. I am just plain angry! This should not have happened. Not here.

In an age where more and more children are being diagnosed with neurological disorders than ever before, I am convinced that there is something, probably fixable, that is causing this to happen. I wonder if chewing on some lead-based paint might have caused some of these conditions to manifest in our children.

There has been a strong belief among several educated people, not affiliated with the pharmaceutical industry, that mercury found in our children’s immunizations could have had an adverse effect on neurological development. There should be a study on the ever increasing amount of lead being digested by our toddlers!

The toy industry will have to earn my trust again. I’m fortunate in that my kids are past the “oral” stages of putting everything in their mouths. But chances are very high that this has been going on for a long time. So, it’s a real probability that my kids chewed on their share of lead, too.

We need guarantees that the toys our children play with are safe. In every way! Until then, maybe moms should go back to giving their little ones wooden spoons, Tupperware and pots and pans to play with. At least those items shouldn’t adversely affect brain development. Let the toy industry feel the pain in what appears to be the only place that matters....their bottom line.